Self-Service: The Delicate Dance of Online Bragging

From Evan Ratliff, Wired Magazine

A few years ago, I belonged to an informal group of freelance writers and editors who would assemble regularly to drink and talk shop. One evening, someone in our rotating cast brought along a new member, who began regaling us with tales of her editorial triumphs and financial success. Apparently she never got the memo that our gatherings were outlets for complaint and commiseration. As the evening wore on, the rest of us adopted a logical, if immature, course of action: We all pretended to go home and then reconvened at another bar without her. In the parlance of our times, you might say that we collectively unfollowed her. If this episode had actually taken place in today’s world of online social networking, however, we probably wouldn’t have batted an eye. The self-aggrandizement that offended the group is standard fare in my Twitter feed — my own posts too often included. (BTW, I’ll be appearing on TV this week.) But far from clearing out the virtual bar, expressions of vanity online are usually rewarded with a cascade of back-patting: a virtual thumbs-up, a hearty “congrats!,” a “proud-to-know-you” retweet. Social networking sites have inverted the rules of privacy and etiquette, and no cultural norm is tossed aside more often on the Web than plain old modesty. This raises an existential question: When you celebrate yourself online, are you a willing participant in a brave new social future, or are you just being an ass? Don’t panic; it’s the former — as long as you strike a balance.

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